Oh, hey, COH2. Wow, it’s been a while. You’re… You’re looking good. More balanced, you know? You’ve got some real variety going on. You just used to always be the same, stuck in a rut. But this… I’m liking it.
What, you wanna play? Oh man, I dunno… All those abusive arseholes you were heavily involved with really got me down. I mean there was Stuggie, t34-85, and let’s not forget about CAS! I swear I never saw you without them. What? They’re not a significant part of you anymore? Man, that’s a big change. Well, I’m definitely interested, I guess. I had a thing going with CS:GO, but she always wanted more from me. It’s like, I’m only a Master Guardian II, you know? I know my limits. I just can’t go any harder than that.
Alright, screw it. Let’s do this.
Hey, wow, is that an le.ig, or are you just happy to see me? I barely knew those things even existed… Wait, *double* le.ig?!? Damn, you are just into all sorts of kinky new stuff! And I just can’t tell what you’re gonna do next without those building splats!
Oh god, here comes a rifle flame blob. Now it’s over. What are we- Wait, you *suppressed* it? Hey, you can even *aim* that garrisoned MG? Man, where do the surprises end?! What’s next, Panzer IV’s and Sturmtigers being useful as OKW? Hahah- …oly shit…