russian armor

WmD as LotR Characters

27 May 2013, 20:56 PM
avatar of GeneralHell
Honorary Member Badge

Posts: 1560 | Subs: 1

(copied over from **.*** ^^ ; and we should probably make some new ones)

One Thursday night not unlike every other Thursday night, AngryRhino and Sandland were talking. We were of course piss drunk and talking about all the hot ladies we were planning on seeing over the weekend when an idea occurred to him. We have a lot of people in WmD that seem to have characteristics of characters in Lord of the Rings. That night, an idea was born. An idea that challenged us to take a look at ourselves and ask, who are we? Well after some time and consideration, Sandland and AngryRhino present to you for your consideration, WmD in Lord of the Rings.


Allan Kirk Sandland is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. He is our fearless leader who keeps WmD out of trouble yet he gets beat all the time by some guy named AngryRhino. He drinks like a boss yet has never been drunk. He plays computer games yet pulls down more slampieces than Trainz can dream of. He is a fearless bad ass guy who does not back down from a challenge. He grabs that challenge and screws its brains out. That's right. Sand is that sort of a guy. Sandland is the rock of WmD who has turned a motley bunch of dudes into the awesome group it is today. Sandland is the leader of our fellowship, he is Aragorn.


Chains is one bad ass dude. If used for good, his voice could soothe the world. If used for evil, he could seduce all our mothers. He is always calm under pressure and always has a plan for victory. He guides us and gives us hope in the face of the harsh world of hackers and spammers. He always has a solution for our problems and encourages us when we are raging. Chains is Gandalf.


In the United States an Ent is slang for someone who is a frequent user of cannabis. In Lord of the Rings, Treebeard is the wisest and most bad ass Ent around. Slow to anger but unstoppable when he finally gets around to it, nobody has as much fun in the woods of being high as Spanky.


Teabag is a tortured soul. He is an awesome Brit who stays up late at night to watch the EPIC battles between Kwinno and Rhino. He was there for the defensive arty on Kwinno's AT guns called in on strat points that should not have been there. He was there for the Rhino rage at Kwinno's constant flanking with Americans. He is also pretty damn good at CoH. However he is unable to reach his full potential because an obsession has taken over his life. An obsession so strong he spends nearly all his time thinking about it and yearning for it. That obsession is Karen Gillian. I don't blame him, that ginger vixen has kept many men up late at night soiling their dress socks, but for Teabag it is different. She is something more to him. She is his... precious... Teabag is the Gollum of WmD.


Pred is a man wise beyond his years. He is a fount of wisdom and mentoring for the younger and less skilled members who are just starting out on our own CoH journeys. He is always ready to review a replay and pass along wisdom because he was stomping PE bullshit when you were still in diapers. We might not see him as much recently because he is busy dominating school and blasting his way through an education but he is always with us in spirit. Pred is the Bilbo Baggins of WmD.


GeneralHell, also known as GeneralGinger, is the Iron Fist of WmD. His fair complexion prevents him from going out in the sun for extended periods of time so he is able to dedicate himself to CoH domination. He is the kind of guy who ranks a smurf up higher than his main just for the lolz. But his competitiveness and drive is a double edged sword. He is known to rage out hard and leave for a week or so but he always comes back when we need him. GeneralHell is the Boromir of WmD.


Symbioos is a man who has had a life of adventure. His travels have taken him from his homeland of Estonia to the murky and dangerous Denmark only to be screwed over by the Gollum's and Giant Spiders of bureaucratic bullshit. He is a man who has truly been "There and Back Again". Of his many talents, he regularly engages boss mode in CoH but we often go for extended periods of time without seeing him because he literally can't connect with anyone. Sym is a jolly fellow who is full of life and laughs but time has aged him into a sullen fellow, weary from his many adventures. But underneath that seasoned exterior is a dude who loves to drink and play CoH. Rock on Sym, you are the Samwise Gamgee of WmD.


Hyggan is a mysterious man. In the old days he was a bastion of the light with expert skill in the vanilla factions but he has given in to experimentation with the darkest of dark arts, the PE. He loves to troll vanilla players with his PE rape skills. One final damning characteristic is the fact that he is Swedish. He is the Saruman of WmD.


Cheezburglar is the youngest member of WmD. With a little help from his friends he has the skills to do great things and accomplish goals beyond his wildest dreams. He is often away having adventures of his own, but we all know where his heart is, with WmD and in CoH. He is a courageous lad, he is the Frodo of WmD.


When it came time to record Lord of the Rings to a book on tape (I mean who has time to read all 3 of those) they turned to a man with a voice like an Angel. This man was Rob Inglis. His reading of the trilogy was inspired, his cadence kept the audience engaged and his emotion erupted through the entire recording. In WmD, we think Rob was the second choice for this honor behind our own Tommy. The only obstacle to this was that Tommy had not yet been born. Either way, Tommy gives WmD a commentator who is the class of the game and brings honor and respect to our clan.


Kwinno is a strat specialist. Need I say more? He is reliable and dependable and loves to troll Rhino. His birds drive the entire clan insane and his Wehrmacht is questionable (I mean who loses to Rhino, seriously) but we still love him (no homo). His relationship with Teabag is questionable at times and his relationship is with Rhino is questionable all the time. Kwinno is Gimli. And much like Gimli's legendary beard, we are all pretty sure Kwinno's girlfriend is a beard of a different sort. Much like Gimli, the entirety of WmD loves to troll him and throw him around a bit but deep down we all love the sod. Kwinno is the Gimli to Rhino's...


Rhino is one of the most hated yet loved members of WmD. He comes from a land that is strange to many of us with its odd rules and mysterious ways of life (like basketball and constant McDonalds food). He loves to troll Kwinno but still loves him (yes homo) they are locked in a constant battle counting their wins (beating chains only counts as 1). Rhino is none other than the pretty face Legolas. He thinks he pretty but everyone else sees him as a stupid elver (fat Yank).


Trainz is the guy from Das Beer Boot video. He is a crazy German who is very sexually freaky for a guy his age. We all know he loves beer, German techno music, the wiener...wienerschnitzel that is, and freaky German chicks. We all want to party with him but are sort of scared of the things we would see. What did you really think a guy as kinky and crazy as Trainz could be a character from Lord of the Rings? Shame on you.

huge thanks to rhino for doing most of the writing and he did an awesome job. so GG WP Rhino
28 May 2013, 15:07 PM
avatar of Teabaglol
Donator 33

Posts: 53

Karen Gillian is just so... damn.. fine...
28 May 2013, 15:25 PM
avatar of Symbiosis

Posts: 862

Karen Gillian is just so... damn.. fine...

Fuck yea..
28 May 2013, 15:52 PM
avatar of PaperPlane

Posts: 173

lolol, thanks for the laughs :D
29 May 2013, 11:17 AM
avatar of Trainzz

Posts: 332 | Subs: 1

30 May 2013, 08:22 AM
avatar of Spanky
Senior Strategist Badge

Posts: 1820 | Subs: 2

jump backJump back to quoted post29 May 2013, 11:17 AMTrainzz
oh god why :D

your reputation follows you :D
30 May 2013, 10:43 AM
avatar of Trainzz

Posts: 332 | Subs: 1

jump backJump back to quoted post30 May 2013, 08:22 AMSpanky

your reputation follows you :D

Well, fuck you, too :D
30 May 2013, 11:58 AM
avatar of Spanky
Senior Strategist Badge

Posts: 1820 | Subs: 2

where's kwinno when you need him... :(
26 Jun 2013, 00:20 AM
avatar of Teabaglol
Donator 33

Posts: 53

I am still the Ghollum of WmD? :(

Also this needs to be updated for Sarge, Fatal and Johan!
26 Jun 2013, 22:22 PM
avatar of FatalSaint

Posts: 337

I'm interested to see who I will be, cause noone really knows anything about me, barely even Tommy :D
26 Jun 2013, 22:28 PM
avatar of Tommy

Posts: 742 | Subs: 2

Took the bastard a year before I even got a glimpse of what the man looks like!
27 Jun 2013, 18:30 PM
avatar of IFeelPretty

Posts: 12

Also this needs to be updated for Sarge, Fatal and Johan!

27 Jun 2013, 19:11 PM
avatar of swiffy

Posts: 124

I considered doing this on the grand scale with GR, but I would have offended a lot of people.

Nice work General. ;)
27 Jun 2013, 20:21 PM
avatar of Pr3d4t0rS

Posts: 1146

jump backJump back to quoted post27 Jun 2013, 19:11 PMswiffy
I considered doing this on the grand scale with GR, but I would have offended a lot of people.

Nice work General. ;)

it was rhino and sandy not gen^^
1 user is browsing this thread: 1 guest


New Zealand 33
unknown 7

Ladders Top 10

  • #
    Steam Alias
Data provided by Relic Relic Entertainment

Replay highlight

  • U.S. Forces flag cblanco ★
  • The British Forces flag 보드카 중대
  • Oberkommando West flag VonManteuffel
  • Ostheer flag Heartless Jäger
uploaded by XXxxHeartlessxxXX

Board Info

370 users are online: 370 guests
5 posts in the last 24h
23 posts in the last week
144 posts in the last month
Registered members: 44978
Welcome our newest member, sienaezuniga
Most online: 2043 users on 29 Oct 2023, 01:04 AM