Profile of iTzDusty

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bigrat vs. Dusty -- XIV Annual SB Games
22 JUNE, 2014 - -SB- SPÖKRAKET
Just a reminder that Tuesday (24/06/14) is the date of this year's long-awaited 'brown-off' between two of SB's finest alumni, bigrat and Dusty.

As in every year, our two dark-skinned brethren go through the televised pre-game ritual of bathing in 'general purpose Indian faith(s) holy water' sourced from the Ganges (available at all Walmart and Target stores for CAD $17 per litre) before chomping down a selection of curries and spicy snack foods. Once the required levels of food have been consumed (the cheers of the crowd being the only real indicator) the famous 'Bengali vomiting' will begin. At this point the televised broadcast is suspended for an unspecified time whilst paramedics, street musicians and tarot card readers assess the situation.

Roughly 45 minutes after the broadcast has been resumed, the thoroughly dehydrated contestants - usually crawling and crying by this point - will be picked up by Indian strongmen, twirled around in the air (in previous years it has not been uncommon to pass out) and then thrown into the open-air arena to the deafening blaze of various A. R. Rahman soundtracks.

This year's judges will be myself, bobbyjoe and Bradare, with the legally required role of racially impartial arbiter being filled by IpKaiFung, a much respected member of the Street Fighter, Company of Heroes and Bomberman communities.

As tradition dictates, a 1798 guinea (George III) is flipped by a brownface performer dressed (ostensibly) as Vishnu and wearing a large diaper, ivory buck teeth and an authentic Bloomingdale's 1954 child's propellor hat. Criticized in previous years for being 'stupefyingly racist' (Dustin Patara, The Hindu Times) and 'far and away beyond the realms of any form of human acceptability' (Peter Qumsieh, Relic Entertainment) the pre-game rituals are nonetheless considered legally acceptable by both the European Court of Human Rights and the State of Tennessee.

For more information about the event itself and which online and cable channels the 2014 games will be broadcast on, please send a blank cheque made payable to our usual European address:

CASH
47 Quisling House
Monte Carlo
Principality of Monaco
Europe

Regards,

-sb- shortarmsdeeppockets

You heard Bloodnok folks, keep it civil and constructive.

Really Awesome Wilderness Rulers, no Kappa.

Don't forget Wargame, though I still elieve that 50% of the people buy it for the in-game chat.

True that. The endless entertainment from cold war military discussions is worth the price alone.

Not even defending Relic but it is pretty ridiculous the amount of shouting the majority of the vocal community is doing. Bitching about balance patches gets nothing done. Obviously relic isn't sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, though they're working on things at a slow pace that most don't appreciate. I'd love for them to patch smaller and more frequently because at the current rate its pretty atrocious, but I'm not going to scream about it.

Plus, twitch chat was pure cancer. Never seen so many inane comments in my life that were ALL CAPPPSSSEDDD and copy pasted ad nauseum (and this is coming from the resident copypasta/chat shitposter). Makes me not want to bother watching the streams in the future simply because of how aggravating chat becomes.