The unanswered problem

Hi guys. Please if you can solve this, I would be so grateful to you.
I saw so many tutorial video's, yet still didn't find any sort of real help to my coh2 performance.
I saw the importance of using hotkeys, how to use the mous, where to place units, units pro and contra's, strategies, build-ups and many more. But one thing remains unsolved: The automatic response to an opponent's move in the middle of a match. Example: I started a game looking on a sheet of paper where I emphasized the important points: "1: build 3 US rangers + 1 mortar. 2. "bring a LT and a Captain, then a Stuart." And so on. But, in the middle of the game, I start to freeze, with these reasons:
1. Wondering where to focus, searching for all my units + knowing their conditions, where to place my units for the next attack, should I split the units thus everyone should attack a different point or should I attack with many units together a certain location, etc.
2. I see the my enemy attacking me, and he brings certain units in the map - I don't know which units I should build to counter his units/should I go for the next stage bringing in vehicles or should I bring a unit to attack my enemy, should I bring units to defend the area or should I ignore him and lead the game, me giving the tone and not him?

That, knowing INSTINCTIVELY what to do in the middle of a game, is unsolvable for me. I may have learned 100 tons of knowledge, but feeling the game instinctive - nope - only freezing.
Maybe there'll be a genius who'll solve this by making a tutorial with AI that attacks you and you'll need to know which unit to bring to counter him. Example: AI brings Grenadiers, you bring a sniper = wrong. A tutorial that teaches you how to react.

Can we move this to the state office? Sounds like a gameplay issue not a hardware issue.