Login

russian armor

The saddest story in History

7 Jan 2013, 08:48 AM
#1
avatar of Dwighty

Posts: 222

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the scrap yard.

I was enticed to writing this piece after a sly comment from Tommy on x-fire the other day (I'm also profoundly bored at work).

The history of the Dodo

Once upon a time, on a island far, far away from you (most likely anyways), called Mauritius, there lived a bird called the "Dodo". The Dodo's were a strange bird about the size of a turkey, and with relations to the pigeon. For many millions of years this bird lived in peace on Mauritius, doing what birds usually do when theres nobody around. It had no predators in it's natural habitat, so over the course of many, many years it got to lazy to fly anymore, and was able to keep holding swinger parties and kicking it in the warm weather without a care in world.

Then one day in the mid 16th century, a big ship anchors up on the shores of Mauritius. This was a group of starved sailors, looking for a quick snack to keep them going for another week or so. They quickly noticed the turkey-like Dodo swinging amongst the palm trees. As for prey, the Dodo's made beautiful subjects. The lack of predators had completely stripped them from the ability to recognize threat; this meant that when the sailors walked up to one and captured it, rather than running like normal animals do, the other Dodo's came running to see what was up.

The word quickly spread amongst other sailors that Mauritius really was the fast-food drive-in of the 16th century, and the ships came in with increased frequency. This put an inevitable stop to the Dodo's swingers parties and by the end of the 16th century, the Dodo was with 95% certainty extinct.

So, for the grand finale I'll leave you with this simple question; How do you feel when we extinct something that only needed our absence to survive?
7 Jan 2013, 08:57 AM
#2
avatar of Qvazar

Posts: 881

But noone in the 16th century were even considering the consequences of this. There's no point in being sad about it now, we have already learned our lesson.
Maybe this event was required for humanity to even think about animal preservation. ;)
7 Jan 2013, 09:03 AM
#3
avatar of Arne

Posts: 1087

Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese.
7 Jan 2013, 09:26 AM
#4
avatar of Dwighty

Posts: 222

jump backJump back to quoted post7 Jan 2013, 08:57 AMQvazar
But noone in the 16th century were even considering the consequences of this. There's no point in being sad about it now, we have already learned our lesson.
Maybe this event was required for humanity to even think about animal preservation. ;)


Well the question really is; if you were stranded on a small island off Mauritius, you were starving and close to dieing when you saw the Dodo. Bearing in mind it might as well be the last Dodo to walk the face of the earth; would you eat it?
7 Jan 2013, 10:08 AM
#5
avatar of S73v0

Posts: 522

If it was the last dodo it's going to be extinct anyways as you need 2 dodos to reproduce so yes I would eat it ^_^
7 Jan 2013, 11:00 AM
#6
avatar of NuVioN

Posts: 246

7 Jan 2013, 11:24 AM
#7
avatar of SemInt

Posts: 93

If I'm not mistaken, the sailors didn't eat every dodo (maybe just every dodo in sight), but it were the animals and vermin the sailors brought with them. Macaque monkeys, pigs and rats were introduced about 400 years ago to Mauritius and wreaked havoc on the dodo population. I think the macaque population especially has been flourishing there. On the bright side, there's a significant export of those macaques for laboratories. We lost the dodo, but at least we got test subjects back.
7 Jan 2013, 12:00 PM
#8
avatar of Miro-

Posts: 176



Mauritius Fried Dodo :
7 Jan 2013, 13:55 PM
#9
avatar of swearinghamster

Posts: 20

There was a man from Mauritius
Who said his last fuck was delicious
But the next time I cum
It'll be up your bum
Cos that scab on your cunt looks suspicious

And then this disease came. either way poor Mauritius has had bad luck.
8 Jan 2013, 10:48 AM
#10
avatar of Reaper

Posts: 20

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the scrap yard.

I was enticed to writing this piece after a sly comment from Tommy on x-fire the other day (I'm also profoundly bored at work).

The history of the Dodo

Once upon a time, on a island far, far away from you (most likely anyways), called Mauritius, there lived a bird called the "Dodo". The Dodo's were a strange bird about the size of a turkey, and with relations to the pigeon. For many millions of years this bird lived in peace on Mauritius, doing what birds usually do when theres nobody around. It had no predators in it's natural habitat, so over the course of many, many years it got to lazy to fly anymore, and was able to keep holding swinger parties and kicking it in the warm weather without a care in world.

Then one day in the mid 16th century, a big ship anchors up on the shores of Mauritius. This was a group of starved sailors, looking for a quick snack to keep them going for another week or so. They quickly noticed the turkey-like Dodo swinging amongst the palm trees. As for prey, the Dodo's made beautiful subjects. The lack of predators had completely stripped them from the ability to recognize threat; this meant that when the sailors walked up to one and captured it, rather than running like normal animals do, the other Dodo's came running to see what was up.

The word quickly spread amongst other sailors that Mauritius really was the fast-food drive-in of the 16th century, and the ships came in with increased frequency. This put an inevitable stop to the Dodo's swingers parties and by the end of the 16th century, the Dodo was with 95% certainty extinct.

So, for the grand finale I'll leave you with this simple question; How do you feel when we extinct something that only needed our absence to survive?


Darwin.
8 Jan 2013, 16:39 PM
#11
avatar of Arne

Posts: 1087

I'm actually decently sure, there is still at least one Dodo in the Netherlands left.
8 Jan 2013, 16:50 PM
#12
avatar of cr4wler

Posts: 1164

jump backJump back to quoted post8 Jan 2013, 16:39 PMArne
I'm actually decently sure, there is still at least one Dodo in the Netherlands left.


if you're talking about GenDodo, it's croatia, not the netherlands :-P
8 Jan 2013, 17:52 PM
#13
avatar of Morrissey'sQuiff

Posts: 35

jump backJump back to quoted post7 Jan 2013, 11:00 AMNuVioN

Nuff said


It's funny how many people completely miss the point of this Carlin routine.
8 Jan 2013, 17:58 PM
#14
avatar of Arne

Posts: 1087



if you're talking about GenDodo, it's croatia, not the netherlands :-P

I'm not talking about an oridnary dodo, I'm talking about a royal dodo.
8 Jan 2013, 18:24 PM
#15
avatar of Sungea

Posts: 164

Poor dodos...

They do look yummy tho
8 Jan 2013, 23:25 PM
#16
avatar of NuVioN

Posts: 246



It's funny how many people completely miss the point of this Carlin routine.

I get the meaning, I wasn't saying it as a point of mine view, but rather as how fucked up we as a human species are which makes the questions when asked to people not worth it because of how the majority wouldnt care. Call me a pessimist, but I just think that's realism
9 Jan 2013, 03:24 AM
#17
avatar of CombatMuffin

Posts: 642

I bet those Dodos were delicious. The good thing is, once the Dodos were gone, there were still millions of other delicious substitutes to them.

Enter: chicken.
9 Jan 2013, 12:11 PM
#18
9 Jan 2013, 14:37 PM
#19
avatar of Dwighty

Posts: 222

jump backJump back to quoted post8 Jan 2013, 18:24 PMSungea
Poor dodos...

They do look yummy tho


Apparently they tasted like shit. But then again; I'm not sure if I would hesitate to eat whatever it is I got my hands on if I had to do it to survive, so I can't really expect a 16th century sailor to do otherwise.

The fact remains; it's a fucking sad story.

Honestly, the dodo is like the panda.
Dodo -> Bird who can't fly (makes for a shitty bird honestly, but they look pretty cool).
Panda -> Vegetarian bear (makes for a shitty bear, even though they are awesome).

How sad would you be if the panda became extinct? I would cry my eyes out, personally.
9 Jan 2013, 16:22 PM
#20
avatar of Morrissey'sQuiff

Posts: 35

jump backJump back to quoted post8 Jan 2013, 23:25 PMNuVioN

I get the meaning, I wasn't saying it as a point of mine view, but rather as how fucked up we as a human species are which makes the questions when asked to people not worth it because of how the majority wouldnt care. Call me a pessimist, but I just think that's realism


Oh no, I wasn't referring to you with that comment. Sorry, I probably should have clarified; I was just scrolling through the comments on the video and laughing at the amount of delusional right-wing lunatics that think Carlin's talking about man-made global warming being a hoax.
1 user is browsing this thread: 1 guest

Ladders Top 10

  • #
    Steam Alias
    W
    L
    %
    Streak
Data provided by Relic Relic Entertainment

Replay highlight

VS
  • U.S. Forces flag cblanco ★
  • The British Forces flag 보드카 중대
  • Oberkommando West flag VonManteuffel
  • Ostheer flag Heartless Jäger
uploaded by XXxxHeartlessxxXX

Board Info

410 users are online: 410 guests
19 posts in the last 24h
47 posts in the last week
101 posts in the last month
Registered members: 44655
Welcome our newest member, kajalfw10
Most online: 2043 users on 29 Oct 2023, 01:04 AM