Multiplayer Games Take so Long to Load I Often Drop

Title pretty much explains the gist.

I have been playing MP with mostly friends, and it takes forever to load into the game (up to 10 mins sometimes). I often drop, and we have to restart. Even when I do load in, it takes so long I often get in-game 30 seconds to a minute after my friends--obviously this can create some problems for my early game momentum as my PC races to catch up and my units stand around doing nothing for up to two minutes at times.

Usually I begin to constantly drop after about three to four games in. We recently started playing Wikinger mod with a bunch of new maps, and since then the rates at which I've been dropping and the loading time has increased greatly (posting this in the Wikinger forums as well).

I have a pretty bad PC, which I am sure factors in. I'm playing on a 2010 Alienware, shitty CPU, with a GTX 470 graphics card. I have noticed that the more detailed maps, larger maps, and the increased detail/functionality of Wikinger itself, tend to force me out of the game. I know this probably has something to do with the state of my PC, but I have no way of upgrading it anytime soon. Graphics are also on lowest settings. Any advice for a quickfix to this problem until I can fix/get a new desktop? I don't mind the loading time and the late start I get in-game so much, even though it is a thorn in my side. Looking for reasons I keep dropping//how to fix actually dropping from the game mainly.

Let me note that the game never actually crashes--I always just load in a bit too late and drop. But I can still play around on the map (with AI replacing my friends) leading me to believe maybe the perma-load makes the game think I have lost connection.

Help would be appreciated

Thanks in advance.