don't mind being beaten by skill, but bugs r drivin me away

I don't think you are alone here. If you ask me, one of the important things in order to keep mental sanity is to not take the game too seriously. I find it almost impossible to get real "competitive enjoyment" with the abundance of RNG, bugs, bad pathfinding and overarching balance problems, so i stopped playing for keeps a long time ago. It's not worth the frustration, especially in 1v1s with certain factions.

On the other hand CoH2 is simply the best looking and sounding WW2 RTS experience around, with novel and solid core mechanics. If you can manage to get enjoyment purely from dipping in the atmosphere, than that's excuse enough to keep playing the game, watching streams or visiting coh2.org.

It is what it is, you have to see it realistically. Nobody can promise you that the gameplay get's better over time, it will only be different most likely.

this. a whole bunch of people are acting like coh2 is their life's blood. most aspects of life bring joy as well as sometimes frustration. why do you expect your hobby (i do hope it is only a hobby to you) to be any different?

dont get the wrong idea here. my signature hints at the fact that i do have my problems with coh2, too, yet i dont nag in every single post i submit

im not talking about anyone particular here, so please dont take this too personal. but then if you do, maybe its time to think real hard about how big an influence this game has on you

I dont take any game too seriously. Relic is relic and there is not much you can do directly against this.
What I do take very seriously is bad leadership and player conduct for no good reason. We cant expect anyone to be a "saint" but some players show a consistent bad player conduct. Real life community or gaming community, social relations are real both ways. In short just try to be nice, is that so hard? It's the golden rule do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Self-responsibility and self-honestly (open mind/critical thinking to listen and learn new things) is key here to change and improve the social norm on this planet which are far from "civilized". It's important to be humble about this and understand we as humans has a very long way to go before we can call ourself "civilized". Not that I claim to be a saint, I just call a spade a spade. Calling a spade for a diamond is not just ignorant but also counter productive because it encourage complacency (unaware of potential danger) and dont foster positive changes that are empowering the individual rather than the opposite.

What the community and each player can DO is setting a good example and/or police it self against "stats monkeys/win at all cost attitude", power hungry leaders (megalomania) and sociopathy behavior that enjoy insulting others. Game or not, all players deserve to be treated with some respect. Community trust and leadership however should not be given so easily but earned by staying honest and beeing nice to people. No honestly, no trust. Honest leaders require courage because sometimes telling the truth will make everyone feel uncomfortable. To much flattering only lead to inflated ego's/big epeens.
Alot of people today forget that individualism/self empowerment which was founded by Thomas Jefferson has only been around for approx 200 years. Collectivism has been the norm for thousands of years even to this day. Individualism is still rare, collectivism is norm.

Why is this important? Because if players choose their leaders only based on the social norm (collectivism) it can quickly become a downward a spiral which disempower people.
As long ppl cant tell the difference between individulism and collectivism they might as well fall into the trap of complacency and essential become a victim of their own collective ignorance. It's basicly the blind leading the blind, what possible could go wrong?
Want a clue that the world is still dominated by collectivism (but much less visible like the soviet union)? Go google General Smedley D. Butler which during his time was the most respected general among veterans and what he said about racketeering. Who benefit the most from war? Follow the money. Then google Norman Dodd which was the chief investigator in 1953 of the Reece Committee which was supported by Constitutional US Congressmen to "follow the money" from the Tax Exempt Foundations (the bankers have hundreds of these which is a win-win deal for them). We also have to give these psychopath some credit, they are brilliant strategic players and could beat most people in chess. They trick people into thinking completely the opposite with their charm and superior intelligence. They only use the mask of civility in order to gain public acceptance and more power. But by following their actions (follow the money) they show clear signs of no empathy and no heart for human mass-suffering.
Yes the international bankers have used Tax Exempt Foundations to fund education as well and many other things like geo engineering, gm foods/monsanto to control the food supply by control the seeds, big oil/petrol dollar system, big pharma, bio fuel to tie food prices with the rigged oil price, big corporate farming (illegal banking foreclosure of small farms), political think-tanks etc. You name it, the collectivist banking have been very busy to get as much power over billions of ppl they could get their dirty hands on.

One good news however, collectivism without the help of individualism is not sustainable and will collapse by itself due to its own collective ignorance like the Soviet Union. History repeat itself when people fail to learn from the past.