no one play this dumb game

go back to coh2

You know, Reverb, I tried going back to CoH 2 recently, and what I experienced shook me to my very core…

It started like any normal match—familiar maps, the constant hum of battle. But as I pushed my Soviet forces into a garrisoned building, something felt... off. Inside, I found an American officer, his uniform slightly tattered, staring blankly at a Commissar who stood there, his face hidden beneath his hat. I thought it was just a glitch at first, some weird animation mix-up. But no, the two soldiers turned towards each other, their eyes locking in a way that made my stomach churn.

Then, in a horrifyingly intimate moment, the Commissar pulled the American officer close. The clash of nations melted away as their lips met in a passionate kiss, their hands roaming with a desperate urgency. It was like something out of a fever dream—the kind of thing that shouldn’t exist in the world of war, but somehow did. My screen froze for a moment, and I almost considered quitting, but then... the madness escalated.

Outside, the US soldiers, led by the now smirking officer, lined up in the streets of the city. They began waving rainbow flags, marching in celebration of something unholy. It was a Pride parade—but not like any I had seen before. The German soldiers, too, emerged from their positions, donning strange smiles, their uniforms now adorned with rainbow colors. But the most unsettling sight of all? The German soldiers were holding rainbow flags between their buttocks, proudly parading down the streets, their faces flushed with excitement.

I stared at my screen in utter disbelief. This wasn’t just a bug. This wasn’t some kind of quirky mod. This was CoH 2, twisted and warped into something unrecognizable—something alien.

Sturmtigercobra was right... But it's not just CoH 3... they got CoH 2 too...